Like It Too Much, a short story from Qatar.
Like it Too Much, a short story from Qatar.
In the summer of 2001 I boarded a near-empty Qatar Airways flight to Doha. Reuniting with my family who’d recently moved there for my father’s new job, it was my first time living abroad.
My first English teaching job came at a run down old school called The Language Teaching Institute. The facilities were basic and dreary, the materials outdated, while the students themselves proved to be a right bunch of characters who quickly helped me develop as a teacher.
My all male classes were incredibly challenging, albeit for very different reasons. Firstly there was my intermediate group, a depressing combination of tardy, lazy, disinterested and unnecessarily wealthy. Then came the elementary circle, a collection of sullen looking men who behaved as if violence had been threatened against their loved ones should they ever attempt anything resembling an English sentence.
The situation would have been miserable had it not been for my one wondrous class of Qatari ladies! There were around a dozen of them, a group of housewives who were clearly delighted to escape their marital duties for a few hours a week.
In fact, they had everything their male counterparts lacked, including genuine interest, alertness and charm. Furthermore, they all possessed a curiosity towards their new instructor.
Like It Too Much, a short story from Qatar.
Entering the classroom for our first meeting, I was startled to encounter three rows of veiled women. A silent assembly of black robes, expectant eyes and clutched pencils. It was as if I’d stumbled upon a room of crack ninjas. Shit, I thought, shooting them a nervous smile. How am I gonna remember who’s who?
However, as anxious as I was, I somehow knew it was all going to be fine the moment Mona opened her mouth to welcome me to her country. Subsequently, the hour flew by in an invigorating breeze of warm laughter, diligent pair work and earnest questions.
Fatima: (Back row, purple bag, sparkling green eyes). ‘‘Mr. Lie-ton… irregular verbs makes me sad. Why not all finish in ed? Much easy’’.
Kazima: (Second row, far left, Winnie The Pooh pencil case). ‘‘Mr. Lie-ton… what is difference between jumper and sweater?’’
Aliyah: (Front row, giant mobile phone, unpleasant body odor). ‘‘Mr. Lie-ton… big become bigger but why gooder not possible?”
No matter what my answer, or indeed how sloppy my explanation, they lapped it up like cats to a saucer of cream. They were literally hanging on my every word. Some lessons I felt a bit like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, only just stopping myself from making them call me “O captain, my captain!’’
‘‘Mr. Lie-ton… your lesson so fun, I like it too much!’’ cooed Subha (Third row, white gloves, unusually tall). ‘‘I tell my husband… Mr Lie-ton’s class… I like it too much!’’
At the beginning of each session I’d gratefully accept the gifts they left at my desk. One day it was freshly baked Arabic bread sprinkled with thyme. Another day I received rice stuffed vine leaves and bulging bags of thick crunchy almonds. It was certainly nice to feel so valued!
‘‘Mr Lie-ton… Qatar food so delisher… I like it too much!’’ exclaimed Aeshi (Back row, persistent cough).
‘‘My ladies’’, as I’d come to call them, were all devoted wives and mothers who’d never driven a car, held a job or indeed left The Middle East. As a result, they were openly inquisitive about the mysterious ways of western culture.
‘‘Do you drinks alcohol?’’ asked Mona, emitting a high-pitched giggle. ‘‘How it makes you feel? Do you like it too much?’’
‘‘Is it true womens can wear anything?!?’’ asked Subha, leaning forward, eyes wide.
‘‘Why so many people divorcing?’’ enquired Aliyah, sounding genuinely troubled. ‘‘Is American problem? Movie star go through many wife’’.
It was a few months into the semester when our idyllic little bubble burst with the arrival of a new student. When Lela first strode into the room I could have sworn I heard a collective gasp from my faithful disciples.
Here was a woman in her mid twenties, much younger than them. A lady who wore jeans and strutted around veil free. To add insult to injury, her English was much better than theirs. Even I raised an eyebrow: A face in my classroom? How dare she!
Dumpy and plain looking, Lela spoke with a bristling confidence, had visited several European countries and didn’t like anything ‘‘too much’’. From the moment she introduced herself by shaking my hand (physical contact!?!) she made a dozen enemies and I instantly knew that my perfect little group had been blighted. Like a blood-red stain on the whitest of tablecloths.
Instead of settling down in the free space next to Mona, Lela proceeded to relocate first the wooden desk and then its accompanying chair to the front row. And there she settled directly opposite me alongside a clearly disgruntled Aliyah.
I tried to carry on as normal, but everything had changed. Now Lela was the first to answer every question. ‘‘Line three Mr. Leighton, London is the capital of England’’. Moreover, she was even brazen enough to start correcting others in my place. ‘‘Taught is participle of teach, not teached! Irregular verb: teach, taught taught. Right Mr. Leighton?”
Like It Too Much, a short story from Qatar.
One day Lela added to the daily food bank on my desk by presenting me with a colossal home baked chocolate cake. She had even gone to the trouble of crowning the top with my name written in flowery, gold icing. An unbearable silence filled the room as she cut me a piece and insisted I try it right there and then. The cake was heavenly, though I tried to contain my enthusiasm as best I could.
For a moment I was fearful the others might suddenly set upon her with bared claws, transforming into a pack of robed wolves. However, they just sat quietly like waxworks. Subha shifted uncomfortably in her seat. There was a murderous glint in the eyes of Mona, a kind of subdued snorting sound from Aeshi.
At the end of the lesson, Lela hung back while the others filed out into the warm evening. After they’d all gone, she walked straight over to me as I gathered up my stuff, her eyes fixed on mine. A businesslike smile broke out across her pudgy face. ‘‘Mr. Leighton, you know most women in Doha very traditional’’ she said, cool as a cucumber.
“But my father half Australian… family is relaxed. Hence I can date and marry man of my choice, no problem’’.
Her words washed over me vaguely as if through a filter. I found myself looking back at her blankly, until I realized she was waiting for a response. ‘‘Oh…’’ I remarked with a forced smile, half an eye on the door. ‘‘You must be happy to have so much… freedom’’.
Lela responded with a witchy cackle, before suggesting we exchange phone numbers. Which, in my increasingly paralysed state, I foolishly agreed to. Consequently, the text messages came around two to three times a day.
Did I want to accompany her to City Center Mall? Take a stroll through Al Bidda Park? Was I interested in meeting her father? My excuses, though poorly worded and lacking in imagination, were at least consistent. And yet it took a solid three weeks before Lela finally took the hint.
Like It Too Much, a short story from Qatar.
Firstly her food donations became less ostentatious. Cakes became cookies, then downgraded to days-old-bread. Soon after it was nothing but a curt smile, followed by a dip in her previously unblemished attendance rate. ‘‘Lela not coming again Mr. Lie-ton?’’ grinned Mona with wide happy eyes, cheerfully tapping her trusty red shoes on the floor.
Within a couple of weeks Lela had stopped coming altogether and harmony was restored among my harem. There was a reenergized swish in their steps as they arrived for class and carefree laughter once again filled the room. One by one they all let their guard down and we were back to normal. One day, a few months later, with Lela’s name now nothing but a distant memory, Subha swung by my desk at the end of class.
‘‘Mr Lie-ton…’’ she said, arms wrapped protectively around her course books ‘‘… I heard Lela is get marry’’.
‘‘Oh really?’’ I replied, with a strange sensation of surprised and not at all surprised.
‘‘Yes!’’ she cooed, drumming a gloved finger on my desk. ‘‘She will marry American teacher, man from other school’’.
‘‘I think this is her dream. She like foreign man too much’’.
Subha laughed, turned on her heels and skipped out of the classroom. Standing there for a minute or two, I couldn’t help but wonder how Lela had pulled it off in such a short space of time. Who was this American? What was in it for him? And what kind of future lay in store for them both?
Sadly these questions were destined to remain unanswered, as I never heard about Lela nor her would-be-husband again. Quite possibly things rapidly unraveled. Or maybe they lived happily ever after. Either way, there was one thing of which I could be certain. No matter how things ultimately panned out, the anonymous American would at least get to enjoy an amazing chocolate cake along the way.
‘Like It Too Much’ is the fifth chapter of my short story series The Qatar Collection.
I’ve been living, working and traveling all over the world since 2001. So why not check out my huge library of travel reports from over 30 countries.
Your post cracked me up! Looks like you were really popular among the ladies, haha. I would imagine it was a lot more fun and productive to teach female students, as they were more interested in learning English than their husbands. For me being a young woman teaching English, I got some attention from my male students (and a few female students), but it never was that explicit. Lela is quite the character, and I guess you could say you almost got trapped by her wanting to marry for the foreigner status!
Ha ha thanks Rebecca. Then I guess you have had a taste of this yourself. I’m glad you liked this one, I think it’s my favourite Qatar story.
Another nicely told story that shows the rather strange situation of women in this country, largely aware of other countries’ ways of life, but prevented from adopting them by the pressure of traditions.
You’re quite right. It’s more than a little sad actually. Those ladies had/have so much to offer, but were held back by all around them.
Oh, Leighton, my Leighton. I like this story too much. I’m amazed at your ability to tell them apart. I have trouble when I can see their faces.
In terms of names and who said what and when, a little artistic license in the writing I guess 😉
The Language Teaching Institute is my kind of school. You can come in late, take long breaks, or just not show up at all. 😊 I take it grades, if there are any, don’t matter.
Spot on John, no exams, no grades, nada. Looking back, I’m grateful for the tables and chairs.
Thanks Coral! Hope you enjoy the remaining chapters.
I love this story too much hehe such a wonderful experience!
Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it!
A captivating chapter Leighton that keeps the reader enthralled and waiting for more. How different life is there between the sexes so I can understand why the women looked forward to their English lessons and their brief escape from domesticity.
Thanks, I really loved teaching those classes. Such a stark contrast to the all male classes.
This is really a nice story. I had the chance to teach for a while at a cooking school here in Italy and my students also were presenting me with food of any sort at every lesson but I’m pretty jelous of your massive chocolate cake!!!
So you’re a cooking teacher? That’s really impressive. An expert in Italian cuisine I guess? Thanks for reading, glad you liked the story!
oh no, although I consider myself an expert of the Italian cooking tradition I am not a chef neither a cooking teacher. I had the chance to teach tourism techniques at a cooking school for a while
Such a great story. I felt as I were in the room watching it all. Maggie
Aw shucks, kind words. Thanks a lot Maggie.
I totally related to this story, having taught English in a couple of countries. Fortunately, there were enough students that classes were offered at different levels and were elective classes so I didn’t have to deal with sullen, uncooperative students. I assume this story was based on some of your own experiences? Enjoyed it!
Thanks Ruth! Where did you teach? Yes the story is autobiographical, thanks for reading.
I taught English at a language school in Prague, and in university in Japan. (I also taught in Guatemala, but not English.) A great way to explore cultures.
The women were more than happy to see Lela go😂 loved the way they called you ‘Lie-ton’.
Ha ha thanks for reading Vivi! Hope you enjoy the remaining chapters.
OMG! Leave it to the ladies! I really did laugh out loud more than once as I read this one. Good job, Leighton!
Marvellous story! Didn’t know Qatari ladies used chocolate to convince attractive young teachers… Did it taste as good as the Belgian brand?
Ha ha thanks Pierre. The cake was great, but nothing beats Belgian chocolate!
I can’t put my finger on why exactly, but this feels like a sad story.
A lot of attention you got there Leighton!
I suppose for many of those women it would have been their first time speaking to a foreign man. It also represented a rare few hours of “freedom” every week. I miss that class.
Nice one, Teacher Leighton!
Thanks for reading dude!